Family Guy/Season 23

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Family Guy is an animated television series created by Seth MacFarlane for FOX in 1999. The show was canceled in 2002, but after a positive response to DVDs and reruns on Adult Swim, productions of new episodes fof FOX resumed in 2005.

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Patrick McCloskey: Forget it, Joe. It's Pumpkintown.

John Hubert: Trick or treat. I'm a registered sex offender.

Joe Swanson: Suck my bumpy gourd, McCloskey!

Stewie Griffin: It's not alive! IT'S NOT ALIVE!

Maverick (Peter): Hey. I’m sorry about Goose. I want you to know, when he died, we were more than five miles out, so I could have done anything I wanted with his body, but I didn’t.

Brian: Listen, l know you're probably mad we took your time machine without asking, but trust me. There's nothing to worry about.

Stewie: You sure about that?

[Meg comes in and switches the lights on with her face full of rash, causing Brian and Chris to scream in horror]

Meg: [grabs Stewie's diaper cream] Sorry, little guy. Mom thinks it'll help the swelling from the burns if l put some diaper cream on my face. [she leaves]

Narrator: [offscreen] Looks like Brian and Chris kicked up a little more than dust on their mosy back in time. Now, please consider these fine commercial products whip sound effect.

Stewie: Yeah, he probably wasn't supposed to read that last part. [the whip sound effect is heard] Yeah, there. You see? There it is.

Announcer: We now return to ER.

Stewie: Edited for eastern medicine.

Mark Greene: I need 10 CCs of--

Stewie: Jinseng root.

Blonde nurse: And somebody set this patient up--

Stewie: Goldfish to nibble his toes.

[Peter Benton gives the patient palpation]

Benton: We're gonna lose him if we can't get our hands on some--

Stewie: Baby elephant bones.

[the patient monitoring system shows the patient flatlining]

Greene: He's coding!

Benton: There's just one chance: we need--

Chris: The lady doctors to kiss. I made some tweaks as well.

Bruce: Oh, no!

Jeffery: I know! [his final words]